


Shipping Crate

by littlesolo



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-20 05:50:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5993830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlesolo/pseuds/littlesolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So maybe Darcy had let her impulses get the better of her and had gone too far...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Worth Shipping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Darcy why is there an order for a shipping crate for, and I quote 'to fit two human bodies and extra room for some hot hot action'?"   
> "Oh you weren't supposed to see that"   
> "It got flagged for security"   
> "Yea, don't worry about it Maria, I cancelled it"   
> "Do I even want to know?"   
> "PRobably not!"

She should have pressed for details.  Maria knows that now but it had been a busy day.    
However, it explains how Maria and Natasha are regaining consciousness inside a metal reinforced shipping crate.  Oh they’re also duct taped to each other back to back.  

Maria’s almost half way through the tape on her side when Natasha jolts awake cursing in Russian.  Her attempt to leap forward and gain leverage only gets Maria’s head bashed into the top of the crate.  

“Watch it!” complains Maria, only able to wince since her hands aren’t free to rub at the spot.  

“Maria?  Why are you here?” asks a still disoriented Natasha.  

“Vacationing.  It’s my favorite go to spot to avoid the crowds” mutters Maria as she continues to work.  When she does get the tape off they’re able to get the tape off each other’s ankles too, but there isn’t much room to move around.  

“So who’s brilliant plan is this?  AIM?  HYDRA?-”

“Darcy”

“ _Darcy?_ ”  

Maria gives Natasha a run down of her conversation with the intern earlier in the week, and Natasha begins to plan a slow death for the “little helper”.  

“Then there’s her note” says Maria as she hands Natasha a sheet of paper. “I don’t get it.”  

Natasha does.  It reads:

_**SHIPPING WHAT NEEDS TO BE SHIPPED!! Please don’t kill me, it’s for the greater good.** _


	2. Shipping and Handling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (in the crate) "What are you doing?"   
> "Making a mental list of everyone to kill when we get out of here, care to join?"   
> "Of course Maria, who do you have so far?" "Darcy, Pepper, Jane, Sharon"   
> "...why all of them?"   
> "Darcy obviously, Pepper for approving the transaction over my head, Jane for ordering the crate and Sharon for knocking me out, who knocked you out anyways?"

"Now wait a minute, you know Jane probably got dragged into this" sighs Natasha, half tempted to come clean about all this mess.  

"And why's that?" grumbles Maria.  

"Because when we get back we'll probably find Jane still duct taped to an office chair with a straw in her mouth for soup and drinks."  

"Soup and drinks?" asks Maria.  

"I may have stressed the importance to hostage maintenance to Darcy... which is why we have bottled water and protein bars."  

"Oh goody" grumps Maria.  

"You can add Happy to the list though.  Darcy can't have hauled this thing on her own, especially with us in it."  Maria concedes that point.  She wouldn't put it past Sharon, Darcy can spin things almost as well as Pepper but for her own little devious reasons. But something is off.  Usually Natasha is all for plotting someone's torture, even if it's just forcing Darcy to do all of Jane's requisition forms from now on.   

"You're quiet."  Natasha shifts uncomfortably.  

"Well we are in a large crate that is usually used to ship fruit or large machine parts, meaning it's well made.  Unless you have a crowbar or car jack in your pocket, we're stuck here until we arrive where ever we're being shipped to."  

"And this keeps you from helping me plot because?"  

"Air conservation" says Natasha quickly.  She's actually a little proud of her fast thinking on that front.  

"There are air holes."  Until Maria pointed that out.  

* * *

When shipping people, you should always be sure to print fragile on the side of the container.  For the cargo, it's important to know that just because the words are printed, the handlers might not pay attention.  

The crate is rolled onto it's side onto a dolly.  Their shouts go unheard due to the noise canceling headphones the handler is wearing.  

Darcy Lewis is so dead.  

 


	3. Package Delivered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Darcy, please don't tell me you actually shipped Maria and Natasha in a crate"   
> "Ok, I won't tell you" "Darcy.."   
> "What? SOmething needed to be done! And you totally okayed it CEO lady!"   
> "I thought it was a joke form"   
> "Too late!"   
> "They have what until they get to LA to sort it out and we have that time to make runaway plans to the Bahamas" "You at least gave them food and water, yes?" "Uhh...oops?" "Oh God they're going to die"   
> "They're like super spies, they can, oh escape and come after us! Shit!"

Pepper has spent all afternoon trying to locate the shipping crate that happens to hold a SHIELD Commander and small red haired assassin.  This would be easy if she had something like a tracking number.  Darcy had said the paper with that information was somewhere on her desk.  Pepper had taken one look at her desk and decided she’d rather deal with the 1-800 help line.  

Except she’s been on hold for the past forty five minutes.  Who knew there were so many containers that could hold animals or two people shipped everyday.  

It doesn’t seem to matter though.  The next morning, Natasha and Maria drag themselves in.  Both look exhausted and ready for blood.  

“ _Where.  Is.  The.  Intern?_ ” growls Maria.  

* * *

Darcy is spinning around her chair, without Maria or Natasha around and Pepper otherwise occupied there’s not a lot to do.  Well, there’s science stuff, but there’s always science stuff.  

“Lewis!”  Darcy nearly falls out of her chair.  

“Guys!  You’re back!  Did you tell her?” asks Darcy.  The fact that she had nearly shipped the women across the state seems to be a small detail.  

“Wait.  What?  Told me what?” asks Maria.  

“ _Nothing!_ ” hisses Natasha with a look that lets Darcy know that these are her last breaths.  

“That she likes you” says Darcy matter of factly.  

“I knew that” answers Maria with a shrug.  

“What?”  

“ _WHAT?!_ ”

“Wait, wait, wait.  You shipped us in a container because we like each other?”  

“What?”  Natasha is more confused than ever.  

“Your UST is making for an uncomfortable workplace.  So rather than file a complaint to HR, I took measures” says Darcy as she crossed her arms.  

“Please point out to me when we’ve had time for a date?  After fishing our carriers out of the Potomac or before the murder bots?” asks Maria with a raised eyebrow.  Natasha nods, admitting that their work schedule had been a bit tight recently.  

“You were both at Tony’s shindig.  Which Jane and I weren’t invited to, by the way!”

“The one invaded by murder bots?  Yeah that was fun until they showed up” adds Natasha.  

“Well, your schedules are free now…” says Pepper from the doorway.  

Wait what’s happening now.  

“Quick, lets get out of here before there’s a crisis.  Join me for dinner?” asks Maria.  

Natasha keeps herself from rapidly nodding and takes Maria’s arm.  

Looks like Darcy’s little scheme had worked.  

“Oh and Darcy, we’ll deal with you tomorrow” calls Maria over her shoulder.  Darcy’s not worried though, she knows Maria and Natasha love her.  “Pepper decides your punishment.”  

Okay, _now_ she’s worried.  


	4. Packing With Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place before anyone was shipped... well while Darcy is getting ready to...

Darcy is humming to herself.  The tune of Maria and Natasha sitting in a tree, except that's not how her lyrics happen to go.  

"Maria and Natasha, sittin' in a crate.  Here's hopin' one gets asked on a date!"  

"They're going to kill you, you know" says Jane from where she's duct taped to her office chair.  Darcy doesn't pay her any attention and continues to hum as she uses a nail gun to seal the two women in.  


End file.
